Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Glum musings . . . Don't mind me . . .

Do you ever feel like we've completely missed the point? That as we scurry around from one empty task to the next - deriving no joy from the process and driving ourselves to distraction with the incessant, pointless minutia - we're stuck in a quagmire of "filler" activities, business for the sake of busy-ness, when we should be focused on what truly matters.

In the grand, eternal, scheme of things, it will not matter if my shoes coordinate with my earrings, if the dishes get done, if I make $1 or $50 per hour, if I live in a house or a cardboard box, or if I have a new outfit, hairstyle, or manicure every couple of weeks. And yet, I assign such value to these things. I think we all do. I get so caught up in the frenzy and worry about each of these truly inconsequential items, dedicating my time and energy and brainpower and finances and emotions to them.

This is not to say that these things are completely wasteful and pointless pursuits - some of them are, don't get me wrong, like the shoes/earrings thing, it is absolutely laughable, yet in my vanity or pride or insecurity I allow myself to get all bent out of shape about it. Some of them depend upon your perspective. Take the dishes for example: as far as I'm concerned, we can have anywhere from one to a dozen meals' dishes "resting" in the sink until the mood strikes me to take care of them, it will not negatively impact my psyche, but it drives Austin batty! Not only that, but it actually leads to him feeling incredibly disrespected because it is something which he has he has expressly requested that I take care of. So I put taht under the "important" heading.

What is my point? You may ask. Who decides what falls where, and how does one assign their priorities? I don't really know. How's that for an answer?

This is my conundrum.

1 Corinthians 3:12-15
If any man builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, his work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each man's work. If what he has built survives, he will receive his reward. If it is burned up, he will suffer loss; he himself will be saved, but only as one escaping through the flames.

I desperately want my time and resources to be dedicated to the "gold, silver, [and] costly stones", but sometimes the "wood, hay [and] straw" is far more interesting and glamorous and FUN.

And the fact that I even feel this way makes me disgusted with myself!

Where do we go from here?

I don't have any satisfactory conclusion. This is just where my thoughts have been running lately. Sorry if it's a bit morose.


  1. you know i know how you feel... sometimes i feel like i'm just running through one week to the other with nothing really HAPPENING... without really DOING anything worth while... without really LIVING. *sigh* we'll have to seriously pray together Tuesday night. Love you hun...

  2. I'm telling you, Sound Man and Austin were separated at birth. About 10 years apart. : )

    I've been struggling with some of the same things. Thanks for being transparent.

  3. I get bogged down everyday with the things that are totally meaningless!! Thanks for the verse!!

    I also want to thank you for starting MHR. Although my hubby sometimes rolls his eyes about what I post... I know he secretly loves it!!

    I have an award for you on my blog!! Thanks for your inspiring words!!

  4. I think it's simply a daily battle to make the CHOICE to focus on what truly matters. Don't beat yourself up, just continue to make the choice... :)

  5. Katy Lin, I think we all struggle with these type of thought from time to time...and I believe the real worry would be if we DIDN'T. It shows that your heart sees what is right, and seeks to do that thing.
    Kathy C.


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